


Early Morning Introspection

by interruptedbyfjreworks



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, M/M, Sleepy Cuddles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-09
Updated: 2018-06-09
Packaged: 2019-05-20 01:12:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14884803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/interruptedbyfjreworks/pseuds/interruptedbyfjreworks
Summary: It’s 3 A.M. and Dan’s mind is being consumed with thoughts of what could’ve been, which leads to a very important realization.





	Early Morning Introspection

**Author's Note:**

> Based on [this](http://sunnyaalisse.tumblr.com/post/143701522238) lovely art by @sunnyaalisse on tumblr!

Dan's eyes had been trained on one spot on the ceiling for what felt like hours. His eyes had adjusted to the darkness enough for him to watch the shadow of a tree branch move with the wind above his head. Phil slept soundly beside him, head resting on Dan's chest. Gentle snores coming from Phil comforted Dan, gave him something to hold onto when his mind raced.

He had too many things going through his brain, way more than what should be going through his mind at three in the morning. Planning for the tour, filming videos, answering emails, and so many other things that needed to get done.

Sometimes, Dan liked to wonder what his life would be like if he never dropped out of college. He would probably live a normal life, one that consisted of him waking up in the morning, grabbing a cup of coffee, then commuting to his mundane job full of mundane people.

Back when everything about Youtube and his life, in general, was too much, he often wished he could have that life. He had no idea if Youtube would work out, if he and Phil would work out, or if they would even be able to gather up enough money for the next month's rent. He would scream at Phil, blaming him for any uncertainty in his life, saying that the only reason he dropped out of college was that Phil convinced him to. Of course, that wasn't true, but in Dan's enraged state, it didn't matter. He would just say the first thing that came to mind that would hurt Phil the most.

Now, however, as Dan looked down at Phil laying across his chest, he knew he wouldn't trade this life for anything. He was able to make millions of people happy just by doing the thing he loved most, filming videos. Dan got the opportunity to meet people whose lives he had made a difference in and hear their stories. And, most importantly, he got to do it with the man he loved by his side for it all. Dan brought his hand up to gently massage Phil's scalp as he thought, marveling at the sight of such a beautiful man, so vulnerable yet so trusting.

Up until Dan met Phil, he had no idea what he was doing with his life. The only thing he could focus on was the constant nagging from his parents to "just figure something out." So, with nothing else to turn to, he decided that his only option was to be a lawyer. If it weren't for Phil, he would've gone down that path. His entire life up until meeting Phil, he had imagined he would go to college, graduate, work a boring job, then come home to his empty apartment. He could never see himself getting married or starting a family despite how much he wanted it. Someone falling in love with Dan enough to marry him just wasn't something he saw feasible. He squeezed gently around Phil's waist at the realization that he had proved himself wrong.

God, he couldn't have been more wrong about how his life would end up. But, for once, he was okay with being wrong.

Dan shot out of bed quickly, forgetting completely about the slumbering man laying against him. Phil grunted in confusion, looking around to see what it was that would have woken him.

Dan's eyes were wide as he walked back to the edge of the bed and sat down, hands on either side of his hips to steady himself. He continued to stare straight ahead into the dark.

"Bloody hell, Dan. It's 3 A.M." Phil's voice was rough with sleep. He propped himself up on one elbow as he looked down at the clock on his phone. He rubbed the sleep away from his eyes.

Dan continued to stare forward. "I just realized something." Turning his head, Dan looked at Phil who stared at him, waiting for him to go on. "I think I'm actually happy." His voice was no more than a whisper but it cut through the deafening silence of the night.

Phil was quiet for a moment, sliding up the bed to rest his back on the headboard. "C'mere." He opened his arms for Dan to crawl to. Phil wrapped his arms around Dan's shoulders and Dan buried his nose into his soft shirt. They sat in silence for a few minutes, content with the sound of the other's breathing. Dan could stay like this forever, with Phil's fingers tracing patterns on the small strip of skin above his waistband and his lips placing gentle kisses in his hair. These were the moments that made Dan happiest.

Phil's touch was like a lighthouse amongst the thick fog his mind too often struggled through. The weight of Phil's hand on Dan's arm was enough to clear his mind, if only a little bit. It brought him closer to the light, and that was enough.

His touch wasn't just good for when Dan was in a dark place. It could also be something to look forward to during a long day. No matter how tense and stressed Dan was from a day full of meetings or planning, Phil was able to help. When hands found hips and lips met lips, all troubles flew away. The only thoughts occupying Dan's mind were ones of the man pressed against his body.

The mindless grazing of fingertips on skin that gave Dan goosebumps, however, was his favorite kind of touch. It was gentle and loving and everything Dan wanted. It was also what was happening currently, neither of them wanting to speak, as if it would break the atmosphere in the room after Dan's sudden realization.

Eventually, Phil spoke up. "So, what made you have this light-bulb moment?" Phil pulled away slightly so he could smile down at Dan. His hand came up to rest on Dan's cheek, his thumb rubbing soothing circles on the soft skin.

Dan sighed, leaning into the touch. "I'm not really sure. I guess I just started thinking too much like I normally do." Dan paused, placing his hand on Phil's thigh and gripping it for emphasis. "I'm way too tired to try and explain this all to you. For tonight, I'll just say that I'm very happy with the way my life turned out." A smile played on both of their faces as Dan spoke his last sentence.

A full, in-depth description of Dan's early-morning introspection could wait. All Dan wanted to do now was curl up next to his boyfriend and fall asleep. He hadn't even realized how exhausted he was until he began speaking. He supposed that his mind had been too busy to actually sleep, but now that he had come to a conclusion, his fatigue caught up to him.

Dan pulled Phil in by his shirt for a soft kiss. "Let's go to bed," he whispered against Phil's lips.

They settled down under the duvet, Dan's back flush against Phil's chest and their limbs intertwined. The sensation of Phil's warm breath on Dan's neck lulled him to sleep, but he was brought back to consciousness by Phil's voice, soft in his ear.

"Have I told you I loved you?"

Dan smiled to himself before replying, pressing himself closer to Phil. "Once or twice."

"Well, I do. More than you could even imagine." Phil moved his hand around until he found Dan's, lacing their fingers together.

"I love you, too."

Both were silent for a moment before Phil spoke again, almost too quiet to hear. "I'm really glad you're happy, Dan."

"Me, too."

**Author's Note:**

> come say hi on tumblr @interruptedbyfjreworks!!


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